


Double Vision

by scintilla10



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Doppelganger, Fandom Stocking 2016, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9319223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/pseuds/scintilla10
Summary: "Don't worry, everyone, I'm already tweeting about this," Gina said. "Hashtag HellFrozeOver."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Measured](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/gifts).



> Written for Fandom Stocking 2016.

"Oh my god," said Amy, as Rosa stepped off the elevator.

"Holy pepperoni!" said Jake.

Charles looked up and dropped his bowl of soup on his desk. "Aww, no, my mulligan stew," he said, and then added: "Ouch! I burned my hand!"

"Don't worry, everyone, I'm already tweeting about this," Gina said. "Hashtag HellFrozeOver."

"Um, hi," said Rosa, and waved hesitantly. The sparkly bow-shaped barrette in her hair glittered under the flourescent lights.

"Rosa?" Terry said. "Are you feeling okay? You look --" He stopped.

"She's obviously not okay! She's obviously been possessed by aliens!" Jake exclaimed.

"Okay, come on, now," Amy said. "Let's not be rash." But she was looking at the pale blue cardigan Rosa was wearing doubtfully.

"What's going on out here?" asked Captain Holt, emerging from his office. He caught sight of Rosa and performed a perfect double-take. "Ah. Diaz. You're … here. Yes." He cleared his throat. "Good."

"Who's Diaz?" said Rosa.

There was a collective gasp. 

"It's not aliens!" Jake said, a manic grin on his face. "It's amnesia!"

"Did I hear you say Diaz, sir?" said Rosa, emerging from the break room.

There was another collective gasp as the Nine-Nine swiveled their heads between Rosa-in-pale-blue-cardigan-and-sparkly-barrette, standing in front of the elevator, and Rosa-in-her-usual-leather-jacket-and-scowl, standing in the doorway of the break room.

"Oh my god! It's _evil twins_!" Jake hissed.

"Which one's the evil one, though?" whispered Amy.

"This is ah-maze-ing," Gina said, holding up her phone. "I'm recording everything."

"Who're you?" demanded Rosa, striding forward.

Not-Rosa was staring at her. "I'm, um. I've just come to talk to someone about a burglary in my building. Er. I called ahead."

"Oh," said Rosa. "Yeah. That's my case."

"Of _course_ it is," Jake exclaimed.

"Ah, yes," said Captain Holt. "Well, in the circumstances, why don't you use my office, Diaz."

Needless to say, no one got any work done while Rosa took Not-Rosa into the captain's office.

"I read this article about the likelihood of meeting your own doppelganger," Amy said. "It's not as uncommon as you might think."

"Yeah, that's great," Jake said. "What if they swap clothes and we don't know which is the real Rosa? How do we know which one we have to kill?"

"No one's gonna kill anyone," Terry said.

"Okay, what about having sex with them?" said Gina. "Because I call dibs."

"No having is sex with them either!" Terry said. He paused. "Unless of course, all parties have given enthusiastic consent. But no having sex in the precinct!"

The door to the captain's office opened. Everyone turned. 

"This is Luisa Rodriguez," Rosa announced. "She's not my secret twin. We just happen to look a bit similar."

"A bit similar!" repeated Charles. 

"That sounds like something a secret twin would say," Jake said.

"Anyway, she's going home now," Rosa said. She glared at them. "Stop staring at her."

"Bye, guys," Luisa said awkwardly.

"Don't make a big deal of it," Rosa said to them, once Luisa had gone.

"Whoops, too late," Gina said, holding up her phone. "You're trending."

"Okay," Amy said, "but consider this. What if, unbeknownst to you, your parents had --"

"No unbeknownsting has occurred," Rosa said repressively.

"Aliens," Jake said decidedly. "I'm going with my gut. It's aliens."

"Good choice, Jake," Charles said loyally.

"I'm sticking with the twin theory," Amy said. "I bet there are some skeletons in Rosa's family."

"Let's all go with Terry's theory, and go back to work," Terry said.

"Yes, let's," Rosa said.

"Hey," Hitchcock said, stepping off the elevator with Scully. "You guys won't believe who we saw downstairs."

Jake rolled his eyes. "We know, we know, preppy Rosa," he said.

"No," Scully said. "It was Gina wearing a biege pantsuit."

"Nuh-uh, you did not," Gina said.

Everyone gasped.

"This is the greatest day of my life," Jake said. "No need to beg, I'm taking the case." 

Little did he know, that was only the beginning ...


End file.
